I take three minutes to dress into my good clothes, and I comb my hair. Mom gives me one of Dad’s old ties, and she practically pushes my sister and I out the door. Mom’s perfect little family.“I can’t believe that my little baby girl is having a baby of her very own. Probably more than one, and I’ll schedule a sonogram for as early as possible. I’m very proud of both of you.”“Will anyone be suspicious when more girls in our family start making appointments for sonograms?”“Not at all. Many of the nurses worked for your father, and they have daughters who want to have a baby. I’ll introduce you to them in good time.”“Is there a reason why we are in a hurry? It seemed like you wanted us out of the house pretty quickly.”“Was I that obvious? It’s a surprise for you and your sisters, and you’ll see when we get home. This should only take a couple of hours.”My sister is wearing a beautiful red dress. It doesn’t reach her knees, and it shows off her silky smooth legs. She smiles from her. She had a gang to lead and people get hurt on the road to success. The other part felt remorse, that she used Mistah Cracka-man like an unwitting pawn. If she didn’t provoke the others then he’d not face a four-on-one ambush.The morality debate went back and forth in her mind. As depressing as it was, it was the lesser of two evils. It helped block out the noise from the bedroom. She hated this apartment, hated her mother, and sometimes hated herself. Some people thought she was a nigger for looking too dark, and others called her a cracker for looking to light. It hurt, every day it hurt. She walked down a dark path, pimping out her schoolmates for survival. No, that was not entirely true. It was not entirely about survival. The part of her soul that hated herself used her position as a way to get revenge on the life she was dealt. As much as she hated her mother and her whorish ways, she hated the blackness that defiled her attractive features. White people might think she was a.
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